One of my best friends wrote a blog about the 13 things she learned in 2013. So I have been pondering what I learned in 2013.
It has been a crazy rollercoaster of a year. Here are 14 thoughts about 2013!
1. One of the most important things about my last year is solidifying my role as auntie to my insanely cute niece and nephew. Since I was gone for the beginning of both of their lives, it took them awhile to figure out who I was. But now, I forever have a place in their heart. And there is nothing that melts my heart like hearing, "i love you more toooooo auntie dearest"
2. Say Yes To The Pain! This year has been marked by alot of pain. A huge surgery of my tumor (that was benign) and then alot of emotional pain. Walking through abuse from when I was younger, betrayal, and unhealthy patterns. I ran from that pain for a bit, which caused more pain. But in the end, I walked through it, and it has changed my life for the good. It was not an easy season to walk through, but I am so glad that I did. I found such sweet treasures, that I get to share with others.
3. God takes the ugly scars of our life, that others put on us, or that we caused our self, and if we give them to him to clean out, he turns them into beautiful stories of redemption, that shine!!!!
4. I am insanely treasured. I have always loved glitter and loved all things sparkle. But this year I learned how much worth I have. Why I have worth and how treasured I am. Sounds cliche. But when your soul truly starts to grasp it, its a game changer!!!!
5. I love drugs!!!! No but seriously, Anti depressants and anxiety medicine changed my life. That along with counseling, and therapy and Jesus, brought hope back into my life that i had lost site of. I am so thankful to Andrew for helping me get on meds and helping me realize how helpful they can be!!!!
6. My bird tattoo is beautiful. Yep, for the longest time I hated it. But, I love what it stands for. I got it because it resembles my freedom. That I have been set free, and all I have to do is walk out my freedom. I was not created to be in a cage, noone was! Yah, I mess up, I run back into that cage from time to time, but i'ts something I am learning to walk out. To live out every day. Also i love to dance=)
7. I have amazing friends. thank you to all those people who stuck by me through the good bad and ugly this year. We have had such special moments that i'll cherish forever.
8. Adventure awakens my spirit. I love exploring new cities, meeting new people, I just love the big adventures and the small every day adventures.
9. Guard your heart. It's crazy how the bible tells you to, and what do you know, its right! My heart is so precious and what i think about, dwell on, spend my time with, is where my heart will be. So I gotta be careful what I do with it.
10. KEEP YOUR LOVE ON!!!!!!!! I am reading this book this year called that. It's all about loving no matter what. It has changed my outlook on how i love others. It's something I am still learning and still not perfected.
11. Grace & Forgiveness. This year I learned alot about grace and forgiveness. And its blown my mind. I learned that true forgiveness is not just letting something go, but it is acknowledging that a wrong was committed and their is real hurt, but then releasing that person and yourself from that hurt. I had alot of anger this year and alot of forgiveness to do. But the biggest person I got to forgive this year was me. This year I learned how to give myself grace and to forgive myself. And to accept Gods insane grace into my life. I wrote myself a letter of forgiveness. It took a long time or wrestling with this concept of forgiveness and asking God what true forgiveness looks like, but I finally wrote it. And believe it!
12. I'm 28. I live with my parents, I'm single, I do not have a thriving career. I do not have any boyfriend prospects. But I am happier than I have ever been in my whole life. God is moving and shaking and shifting things in the core of my being, getting me ready for something very very exciting, and in that, I'm still. I'm content.
13. Trust the process. They kept telling me this at regroup or in therapy. I can't tell you how much I cried this year, or laid in bed depressed, or wondered if there would ever be a point in my life when the pain just stopped. Well, after years of unwrapping layers of grief, and months of serious therapy unwrapping life events and lies and truth and cause and event and how my beliefs effect my behavior. After finally forgiving all of the people that have wronged me, and forgiving myself, and realizing how trully loved I am. I realize that the process sucks, and hurts soooooooooooooooo bad. But ITS WORTH IT!!!!!!!!!!! One of my favorite songs ever says, "its worth it brothers to loose your sin, did you know that you are dearly loved". Don't get me wrong. I still have my struggles, and my strong holds that I have to daily choose and remind myself of truth. And I still fail (duh we all do). But I am learning. And I love it....
14. Every choice matters. You have the ability to choose alot. Decide the person you want to be, how you want your life to end up, and make daily choices to get you to that goal. Choose your attitude, don't let circumstances or other people control you.
I ended 2013 with a random road trip & started 2014 with a random last minute road trip. Both of which, will greatly effecrt my next year!
It has been a crazy rollercoaster of a year. Here are 14 thoughts about 2013!
1. One of the most important things about my last year is solidifying my role as auntie to my insanely cute niece and nephew. Since I was gone for the beginning of both of their lives, it took them awhile to figure out who I was. But now, I forever have a place in their heart. And there is nothing that melts my heart like hearing, "i love you more toooooo auntie dearest"
2. Say Yes To The Pain! This year has been marked by alot of pain. A huge surgery of my tumor (that was benign) and then alot of emotional pain. Walking through abuse from when I was younger, betrayal, and unhealthy patterns. I ran from that pain for a bit, which caused more pain. But in the end, I walked through it, and it has changed my life for the good. It was not an easy season to walk through, but I am so glad that I did. I found such sweet treasures, that I get to share with others.
3. God takes the ugly scars of our life, that others put on us, or that we caused our self, and if we give them to him to clean out, he turns them into beautiful stories of redemption, that shine!!!!
4. I am insanely treasured. I have always loved glitter and loved all things sparkle. But this year I learned how much worth I have. Why I have worth and how treasured I am. Sounds cliche. But when your soul truly starts to grasp it, its a game changer!!!!
5. I love drugs!!!! No but seriously, Anti depressants and anxiety medicine changed my life. That along with counseling, and therapy and Jesus, brought hope back into my life that i had lost site of. I am so thankful to Andrew for helping me get on meds and helping me realize how helpful they can be!!!!
6. My bird tattoo is beautiful. Yep, for the longest time I hated it. But, I love what it stands for. I got it because it resembles my freedom. That I have been set free, and all I have to do is walk out my freedom. I was not created to be in a cage, noone was! Yah, I mess up, I run back into that cage from time to time, but i'ts something I am learning to walk out. To live out every day. Also i love to dance=)
7. I have amazing friends. thank you to all those people who stuck by me through the good bad and ugly this year. We have had such special moments that i'll cherish forever.
8. Adventure awakens my spirit. I love exploring new cities, meeting new people, I just love the big adventures and the small every day adventures.
9. Guard your heart. It's crazy how the bible tells you to, and what do you know, its right! My heart is so precious and what i think about, dwell on, spend my time with, is where my heart will be. So I gotta be careful what I do with it.
10. KEEP YOUR LOVE ON!!!!!!!! I am reading this book this year called that. It's all about loving no matter what. It has changed my outlook on how i love others. It's something I am still learning and still not perfected.
11. Grace & Forgiveness. This year I learned alot about grace and forgiveness. And its blown my mind. I learned that true forgiveness is not just letting something go, but it is acknowledging that a wrong was committed and their is real hurt, but then releasing that person and yourself from that hurt. I had alot of anger this year and alot of forgiveness to do. But the biggest person I got to forgive this year was me. This year I learned how to give myself grace and to forgive myself. And to accept Gods insane grace into my life. I wrote myself a letter of forgiveness. It took a long time or wrestling with this concept of forgiveness and asking God what true forgiveness looks like, but I finally wrote it. And believe it!
12. I'm 28. I live with my parents, I'm single, I do not have a thriving career. I do not have any boyfriend prospects. But I am happier than I have ever been in my whole life. God is moving and shaking and shifting things in the core of my being, getting me ready for something very very exciting, and in that, I'm still. I'm content.
13. Trust the process. They kept telling me this at regroup or in therapy. I can't tell you how much I cried this year, or laid in bed depressed, or wondered if there would ever be a point in my life when the pain just stopped. Well, after years of unwrapping layers of grief, and months of serious therapy unwrapping life events and lies and truth and cause and event and how my beliefs effect my behavior. After finally forgiving all of the people that have wronged me, and forgiving myself, and realizing how trully loved I am. I realize that the process sucks, and hurts soooooooooooooooo bad. But ITS WORTH IT!!!!!!!!!!! One of my favorite songs ever says, "its worth it brothers to loose your sin, did you know that you are dearly loved". Don't get me wrong. I still have my struggles, and my strong holds that I have to daily choose and remind myself of truth. And I still fail (duh we all do). But I am learning. And I love it....
14. Every choice matters. You have the ability to choose alot. Decide the person you want to be, how you want your life to end up, and make daily choices to get you to that goal. Choose your attitude, don't let circumstances or other people control you.
I ended 2013 with a random road trip & started 2014 with a random last minute road trip. Both of which, will greatly effecrt my next year!
