intimacy

Play as you read the following......

Do you remember being held by your mother as a child?  i  had completely forgot.  until one day when i was volunteering in a special needs orphange in India.  You see, in India they believe that if a child has a special needs issue then its a curse to the family.  Most of the time the child ends up in the street.

That is where I found myself for the month of december in 2011.  I  had no idea I would find such love in a place of such abandonment.

I grew up with really great intimacy.  I shared a womb for nine months....thats pretty intimate! and had very loving parents.  and i knew i was very very very loved by my maker.  But what about these kids?  How often do they get to fall asleep in someones arms?  They were created in God's image, but yet they often don't get to have human intimacy.

One of my favorite things to do at the special needs orphange was to just the children.  A few instances changed my heart forever.

One night, a fever was passing through the orphange and i remember just holding this little boy as he was sick, his face still beaming at me.  I felt like the most blessed person in the world that i could love on this child in this moment.  Just cradling him in my arms. No fear of sickness, like a mother would, to her own child.  In that moment, Jesus spoke to me, so many things into my heart.  About how i was just like that sick child.  And He was holding me.  And how i was his arms, his hands.  And about that intimacy that he longs to have with each and everyone of his children.  It's the reason we were created.  We were created for intimacy with our maker.  Every inch of our being was created for intimacy.

Another time, that changed my heart forever was with my favorite little boy.  He was born blind.  So he loved to be touched.  And has one of the most precious smiles and laughs that I have ever seen.  But sometimes he would just cry.  My favorite thing was to just hold him and let him fall asleep on me.  I thought, how often in his life does he get that?  While i held him, I had flash backs to being held as a child by my mother.  It was such a normal thing in my child hood, it didnt even stand out until that moment.

As I would hold this little boy, thinking that I was giving Him a gift.  He actually was giving me a gift.  Over the orphange speakers "intimacy" by  jonathan david hessler played.

Yah i was originally raised with very healthy intimacy but somewhere along the the way, certain life situations stole the purity of trustworthyness of intimacy from me.  I had shut a part of my heart off to intimacy.  My heart had gotten so hurt, it was tired of opening up. I had abused intimacy and intimacy had been abused in my life. I had a skewed view of intimacy.  But as i held this precious child that God had made, and listened to the words of how every part of my body was made for intimacy.  Intimacy with my creator, and with other people.  Healthy intimacy.  Pure intimacy.  As I held this child.  My father, my Creator, my Beloved, spoke HIS truth and started to realign what true pure intimacy is.

The enemy comes to steal kill and destroy.  He has stolen alot of these precious children and from me.  But OUR FATHER has come that WE may have LIFE and HAVE IT TO THE FULLEST.

I believe with all my heart that my sweet blind baby sees Jesus in a way that i never will till heaven.  And i saw life in those once abaondoned special needs children that is hard to find among the most "succuessful" of americans.  These children laugh every day, they love, and i believe in their childlike faith that they know a sort of intimacy that I am still learning. Now this is JUST me talking but i would pray every day that these children would see angels and see Jesus.  And sometimes I could even sense the angels in the rooms with the children.  And I definitely sensed the Spirit Of The Lord.  He loves these children way more than I possibly could, and after a year and a half, my heart still breaks because i miss them so much.  But thankfully, God's holding these children, He's their father, and He is constantly bringing people into their life to be HIS hands and arms and feet.  I was lucky enough to be one of those people....even just for a month.