ruin me.
strip everything from me.
allure me into the wilderness.
take everything from me.
But please God don't leave me. Don't leave me as I am. Even if takes these wounds, these hurts, this selfishness, this ugly, this surgery, even if it hurts soooooo bad. Please do it. Whatever it looks like to transform me into the woman YOU want me to be. Oh please don't give up.
I'm learning that the most loving thing that my Savior could be doing to me is allowing pain. At first I thought only a cruel God could do that. But, if you have a tumor that was growing in you, attacking your vital organs, that was ruining your life. That was literally killing you. And the top surgeon in his field offered to cut this intruder from your body, to save your life? To give you the life you were intended to live, the life, you only dreamed of having. Would you say, "No, you cruel doctor!". What about when he is going over surgery with you and telling you that it is going to be painful, and the recovery will hurt, as your body heals. Would you than scream at the doctor, "You are cruel"?
I doubt it. Then why scream at God?
I'm seeing how he IS the most skilled surgeon, that knows exactly what is growing in me, that is wrecking me, destroying my life, like a nasty tumor. And if he were to leave me alone, eventually I would die. Maybe not physically, but I would waste away.
But no, My God loves me too must to leave me alone. He loves me enough to take my heart of stone, and replace it with a heart of flesh. Oh it hurts so bad.
In someways I never realized how ugly I was. How deep rooted my tumor was. How fast I would fall back into security.
But also in this process. I've never fully realized, how beautiful I was. How loved I am. How insanely treasured I am.
So ya, the pain, its worth it. He is the kindest, most loving surgeon I have ever encountered. And not only that, but He is the Redeemer of my soul, and the pursuer of my heart. He is good. Always. Period.
Bob Sorge's words say it so perfect:
"Lord, do not leave me alone. I have got to know you, I have got to see you, I have got to have you and I want everything that you've got for me. Lord, do not leave me to myself. Interrupt my life if you have to, test me if you have to, but come to me, visit me, reveal yourself to me."
strip everything from me.
allure me into the wilderness.
take everything from me.
But please God don't leave me. Don't leave me as I am. Even if takes these wounds, these hurts, this selfishness, this ugly, this surgery, even if it hurts soooooo bad. Please do it. Whatever it looks like to transform me into the woman YOU want me to be. Oh please don't give up.
I'm learning that the most loving thing that my Savior could be doing to me is allowing pain. At first I thought only a cruel God could do that. But, if you have a tumor that was growing in you, attacking your vital organs, that was ruining your life. That was literally killing you. And the top surgeon in his field offered to cut this intruder from your body, to save your life? To give you the life you were intended to live, the life, you only dreamed of having. Would you say, "No, you cruel doctor!". What about when he is going over surgery with you and telling you that it is going to be painful, and the recovery will hurt, as your body heals. Would you than scream at the doctor, "You are cruel"?
I doubt it. Then why scream at God?
I'm seeing how he IS the most skilled surgeon, that knows exactly what is growing in me, that is wrecking me, destroying my life, like a nasty tumor. And if he were to leave me alone, eventually I would die. Maybe not physically, but I would waste away.
But no, My God loves me too must to leave me alone. He loves me enough to take my heart of stone, and replace it with a heart of flesh. Oh it hurts so bad.
In someways I never realized how ugly I was. How deep rooted my tumor was. How fast I would fall back into security.
But also in this process. I've never fully realized, how beautiful I was. How loved I am. How insanely treasured I am.
So ya, the pain, its worth it. He is the kindest, most loving surgeon I have ever encountered. And not only that, but He is the Redeemer of my soul, and the pursuer of my heart. He is good. Always. Period.
Bob Sorge's words say it so perfect:
"Lord, do not leave me alone. I have got to know you, I have got to see you, I have got to have you and I want everything that you've got for me. Lord, do not leave me to myself. Interrupt my life if you have to, test me if you have to, but come to me, visit me, reveal yourself to me."
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