does he see my tears?

I wish you could go on a drive with my nephew and me. The entire time, you would be hearing, SCREAMING!!!!!!!

Do you know how heart breaking it is to be driving for ANY amount of time next to a SCREAMING baby tears streaming down his face and he's locked eyes on mine.  It absolutely breaks my heart. 

It made me think. Sometimes I have to wonder, when my heart is breaking, when my heart is hurting, when im screaming in my car seat. Does God care? Does it hurt his heart? Does he hold me, knowing that I need to walk through this specific situation, and maybe one day ill understand?

Tonight as my hearts breaking watching my nephew scream, my Abba spoke to my heart.  

"Ruth, my daughter, as much as you love your nephew and it hurts your heart to see Him cry, I love you so much more. I love you in a way you are only beginning to understand. I see your tears, I see your pain, it hurts my heart, but just like you know he has to sit in that car seat, and you understand the bigger picture.  I see the bigger picture.  I see the end of the road. I see the end of this painful ride. You are learning something. You are not alone, I'm here, I see you, I love you." 

Man this baby....